You can, if you try, find videos online or offline, of exploding whales. Below are two well documented incidents of exploding whales that may or may not have been directly influenced by humans.

Florence, Oregon

One of the best known incidents is the 1970 Oregon Whale Explosion. A sperm whale, weighing eight tons and being 14 meters long, was beached on the Oregon Coast. Since just burying a whale was inefficient, they decided to blow it up with half a ton of dynamite. Imagine being loaded with almost 1/15 of your body weight in dynamite and being blown up because they were too lazy to bury you. For the average American male, that would be 15-25 pounds of dynamite. Ouch.

They blew up the whale, which disintegrated to some extent. Some of the whale was left intact, which the Coast Guard and Highway Patrol cleared away later. The blubber that was blown up, on the other hand, flew many hundred feet away. A large chunk of blubber almost wrecked a stationary car, and certainly caused much more damage.

The people involved decided, when many whales washed up on a different coast, they would just burn and bury the whales. That’s what they got for being lazy. At least they learned their lesson.

Tainan, Taiwan

But, that whale was intentionally blown up. Imagine if a whale just spontaneously blew up during the middle of the day. Well, that happened. In 2004, in Tainan, Taiwan a decomposing sperm whale that was almost 50 tons suddenly exploded due to gas build-up inside the carcass. It took Taiwanese forces 13 hours, three cranes, and 50 workers to shift the giant whale onto a truck to dispose of it.

The explosion was supposedly spectacular. It splattered blood and entrails all over the city, and caused a garnered a huge amount of International attention. More than 600 residents of Tainan, along with various food, drink, and service vendors watched the servicemen haul the giant away. The temperatures were supposedly ‘bitterly cold’, along with heavy winds, but nevertheless, it was a surprisingly popular random event.

There were many other events that included exploding whales, but these two were the most internationally popular and the best documented I could find.

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Take a nice look at that photo. Obviously, wherever the hell this place is they have a problem with smoking, food, drink, flammable goods, and durains. When you think about it, durains are a food, so you could get in trouble for bringing one in regardless of whether or not the exact rule was in place…

By now, you may be wondering what a durain is, and why the heck this place banned it. I’ll be attempting to uncover the reasons behind the banning of this spiky fruit…

The Durain is revered in Southeast Asia as the ‘King of Fruits’. It’s quite large and has a heavy husk. The fruit can grow up to 12 inches long, with a diameter of 6 inches. The fruit can also gain the weight of 2-7 pounds! The durain is covered in sharp, prickly thorns. A naturalist descibed the flavor as, “a rich custard highly flavoured with almonds”. The flesh can be eaten at a variety of times during ripening, along with the seeds being eaten after cooked.

Funnily enough, as I looked through the article I was using for info, I found the exact same picture, along with a caption. The caption claimed the sign was in Singapore’s Rapid Mass Transit System. The reason of the banning was the smell. According to multiple sources, the smell of the durain is overpowering.

“Its odor is best described as pig-shit, turpentine and onions, garnished with a gym sock. It can be smelled from yards away. Despite its great local popularity, the raw fruit is forbidden from some establishments such as hotels, subways and airports, including public transportation in Southeast Asia”

A quote from Richard Sterling, the traveler and food critic, lies above. Obviously, the overpowering smell is shit. With a bunch of other things along the lines of shit. So, the banning of the durain is actually, not that odd.

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According to Wikipedia, Extraterrestiral Real Estate is, “either land on other planets or natural satellites or parts of space that is sold either through organizations or by individuals.” Also according to Wikipedia, there are many legal issues with Extraterrestrial Real Estate of which the definitions are extremely vauge.

Yet, about 1/4 of the way through the article, it says the Moon Treaty of 1979 made Extraterrestrial Real Estate ownership illegal. So, why is there a Wikipedia Article on something that’s completely pointless and illegal. It’s like having an article of Housing of Antarctica. There is no housing in Antarctica. There is also no Real Estate in space. Regardless, the article continues, as will mine.

The article goes on to talk about Moon Selling, or Moon Sale, which I belive was covered under the idea of ‘celestial bodies’, but they did not. They gave it a whole 4 paragraphs, along with ‘Supposed Moon Sellers’ a 2 paragraph section.

The second to last paragraph is the History of Extraterrestrial Claims. Obviosuly, this was a neccesary and very important section- everyone needs to know exactly who has claimed part of the sky. In 1937, a guy in Ocilla, Georgia claimed all “planets, islands-of-space or other matter ” in the Universe as his property. But that wasn’t enough for Extraterrestrial Real Estate people. Just one man owning the whole universe wasn’t fair. Obviously, that would be a monopoly. So, a newspaper in Iowa decided to give ‘lunar farms’ to their readers…

The last part is about the Ownership of Empty Space. According to the UN, it’s still illegal to own empty space, regardless of whether or not it has absoluetly no use at this time and it’s almost impossible to use it within your lifetime. How odd.

For those of you who would like to perfect this odd Wikipedia arcticle, here’s the link!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraterrestrial_real_estate#Legal_issues

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Oh God, what did this poor man do to deserve this horrible pain? Not only did he probably (according to the video, and to my common sense) break his leg, he also probably will never be able to have children or look at a trampoline again without rolling into the fetal position with a bottle of booze, crying ,”I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna!”.

Most people have been on a trampoline, and most people have fun on trampolines. Some people, whether or not they be klutzes, have serious accidents on trampolines. And it’s definitely not funny. These people are getting seriously hurt and they are not having fun. At least, to them it’s not funny. And to them, it’s not fun. To everyone watching from their safe office chair, it’s one of the most relaxing and hilarious things ever.

Personally, I love trampolines. I’ve had years of fun with trampolines, even though I’ve never owned one. It’s plenty of fun to jump around on trampolines with friends or family. There’s plenty of enjoyable games to be played on a trampoline.

Just remember the three primary safety tips for trampolines!

1) Don’t Jump While Under the Influence

Get a designated jumper to help you while you jump- alcohol can severely reduce your ability to sense distance, or detect your orientation. It also may or may not reduce your driving abilities, your ability to repeat the alphabet backwards, or attract the opposite sex with your minty fresh breath.

2) Don’t Jump While Eating Bananas

Perhaps you might be saying- what the hell do bananas have to do with jumping on a trampoline? Well, think about it! If you eat a banana, what’s your first thought after peeling it? Throw the peel away! Now, what if you’re casually jumping on a trampoline, eating your yummy yellow fruit, when you suddenly slip on your forgotten peel, crack your head on the metal rim supporting the trampoline, dislodge a spring, and have the spring shoot speedily out and impale your eye? Yeah- don’t eat bananas and jump on a trampoline simultaneously.

3) Don’t Jump While Writing A Blog

Trust me- I tried. It ends up with $1000 of expensive electronics smoldering in the grass, 1 person bleeding profusely from the head, 8 vultures flying around in a circle, and a very awkward explanation to the doctor of why you ended up like this.

So remember, follow these rules, and you won’t end up like the guy in the video.

This is the Nightly Rambler, signing off.